In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
