I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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