Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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