Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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