dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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