Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
