I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
