it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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