I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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