Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
