ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
