he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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