does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
