last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
