Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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