your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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