Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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