Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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(716): View more from New York

I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

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(315): View more from New York

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

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(443): View more from Maryland

we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

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(207): View more from Maine

I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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(214): View more from Texas

You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.

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(616): View more from Michigan

last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals

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