I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
