My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fuck appropriateness.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize