i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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