Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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