somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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