WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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