Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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