I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
