is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize