He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
