so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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