The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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