yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
