On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
