I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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