Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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