dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
