She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
