i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
