We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
