Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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