I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I cut my penus on the lid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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