Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You don't make any sense
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