You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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