school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
