when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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