Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
