I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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