Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he shaved USA in his pubs
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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