what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
