i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
