He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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