Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
