I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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