I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
