You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
