she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
