Jerry, you need to find god
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
