Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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