You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
