Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize