They should really pass out barf bags in church
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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