she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
