It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
