The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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