my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize